This ended up being a really long post. The short of it is that ward boundaries were changed throughout our stake and Cori and I have new callings. Feel free to skip to the part at the end for those details. What follows are my thoughts and lessons learned regarding my calling.
I was released from my calling in the Stake YW presidency at the beginning of November. We were well into our third year of laughing, crying, working, and playing together. It was a bittersweet change, to say the least, but one that I didn't have to jump into headlong. The changing of the guard was precipitated by the departure of my dear friend Shelly who had been the president. The timing of her move, completely out of her control of course, was tricky as it came just before three large activities: our stake's second annual Sadie Hawkin's dance, the annual stake harvest dance, and the tri-stake youth conference which our stake was in charge of hosting. Add to this that our stake was realigned the day after Gracie's baptism. Two new wards were created and multiple wards were completely reorganized. The ward youth leaders were not called for weeks afterwords, making communication and ward support challenging to organize.
The new stake YW presidency was called and in place, fresh for the fight, a week before kick off. Heather (our secretary), and I were asked to stay on board to see these final activities through to completion. The planning was all done but there was plenty of execution yet to complete. The dances were a lot of fun, as usual. Youth conference required solid weeks of full court press and was a success in the end, I'm happy to say. We had 400 kids attend the friday night carnival, and just over 300 attend the spiritual activities the next day. I could write quite a bit regarding this youth conference, but I feel very blessed that I got to see it through as it was, to me, like a capstone of my experience serving in this presidency.
In the weeks that have followed, I have mourned the absence of this responsibility in my life and I have reflected a lot on what I learned:
Check the ego at the door- Large activities require the help of lots of people and lots of brainstorming. There are many ideas. Spiritual inspiration for an idea does not necessarily mean that said idea will be the end product. Many times, initial ideas are spring boards for better ideas - this is the beauty of group synergy. And whether before or after an activity, there will always be someone(s) who has something negative to say. Better to not take it personally.
It is the Lord's program- And thank goodness. He knows what needs to be done, who needs to be asked, and how to get His work accomplished. Anytime we felt up against the wall, as a presidency we would turn to Him in prayer. We would remember our ultimate goals - to serve the ward leaders in our stake and help bring our young women to their Savior and get them to the temple! - and then we would get to work. We worked hard to follow the Spirit and, on more than one occasion, found ourselves going back to the drawing board again and again until it felt right. Things always came together, usually better than we expected.
Respect the offices of all- This presidency was full of strong personalities. We served with other stake leaders who had strong personalities as well. And the problems set before the board were not often easily solved. It was a testimony builder to see how everyone could discuss, disagree, compromise, let go, get out of the way, step up and move on. I feel that the reason we were able to work effectively this way was because we respected one another's callings. A president is called to preside. She bears the burden of having the final say. Counselors are called to council and support. A wise president will listen to her counselors and seek their input and involvement. Good counselors will respect the decisions that get made and do everything they can to help create and execute solutions and activities. Shelly and Janet were such good examples to me about this. Shelly was fearless about making decisions and counseled closely with us about everything. Janet has been in this stake and in the YW program forever and her experience was an invaluable asset to us. I remember one occasion where our discussion about an event went something like this:
Shelly: I think we should do plan A.
Janet: I still think plan B is the better route for reasons 1, 2, 3.
Shelly: Yes, but plan A is great because of reasons 1, 2, 3.
Janet: True, but my concerns about plan A are 1, 2, 3. I really think plan B is the way to go.
Shelly: Well, I still think we will do plan A.
Janet: (without hesitation or the slightest hint of emotion) Okay, this is what I think we should do to make plan A a success.
This kind of confrontation would turn my stomach in complete knots before this calling. But I learned so much going through the process over and over again. We faced situations like these often in our presidency and then again in meetings with our stake leaders. We respected one another and I loved how we could still feel the Spirit leading us in situations where the spirit of contention might otherwise rule.
Effective communication is key- A huge chunk of what we did involved effectively communicating information and assignments to ward leaders, and then communicating their needs to our stake leaders. We learned that, just like when working with teenagers, the best policy is to ASSUME NOTHING when fashioning said communication. It doesn't matter if this is the 15th year in a row that the Valentine's dance will be sunday dress only. It doesn't matter if the activity was announced from the pulpit at stake conference. It doesn't matter if calendars and assignments have gone out in the monthly email for the last three months leading up to a training or activity. Communication needs to be frequent, concise (I, too, am guilty of scanning emails and missing crucial information), crystal clear, and obnoxiously repetitive. And then we learned how to be patient when kids or leaders would show up at the wrong time, flake on an assignment, or have to go home and change clothes and would get upset with us because they didn't know what was going on. :) We're all only human.
Don't shy away from the bigger plan- I have a detail oriented kind of brain and tend to be a perfectionist when situations will allow (motherhood has beaten a bit of this out of me). When I approach a task to be done, my mind immediately begins organizing and ordering details into lists. This can be very useful in many ways. But when it comes to big events/projects, I can become easily overwhelmed with the minutia. Shelly was incapable of doing anything small. Her ideas were always huge! She was also incapable (by her own admission) of combing the details. It fell to those of us who were more inclined that way to handle that part of the planning and it was really, REALLY good for me. I learned how to handle my own hangups in a better way, and it has helped me dream a little bigger for myself.
Be bold enough to push, be humble enough to yield- We had to go to bat for a couple of things for the YW program in our stake. I learned that spiritual boldness requires as much, if not more, action, as it does the right words. It wasn't enough to simply share our testimonies about certain things in meetings. If our leadership wanted detailed (read: elaborate) budgets to help them decide about approving something, we did it. If having the activity meant we would be the ones doing most of the work because it didn't seem important to anyone else, we did it. We were not afraid to bring big ideas to the table (see above), but were careful to keep cheerful hearts when others didn't catch the vision. And we also were quick to admit our faults and to back down when asked to. "We are teachable" became a happy motto.
Hash out the details (don't wing it)- Winging it is never a good option when hundreds of teenagers are involved. We learned quickly that preparation, prevention and forethought were our best friends.
If it is not broke...- This was probably our token lesson learned the hard way. Tradition can be good. If no one is complaining about the tradition and it is still appropriate and achieves its intended purpose, stick with it. Enjoy not having to reinvent the wheel.
The handbook reigns supreme- The Church handbooks are every bit as inspired as anything else the Church publishes. There were so many questions and problems that were quickly and irrefutably resolved by simply turning to the handbook. The book is purposefully vague where it needs to be (try nailing down the specific responsibilities of a Beehive advisor, for example) and it is incredibly specific where it needs to be (how dim lights can be and what kind of music -beyond lyrics- is appropriate at Church sponsored dances). When ward leaders came to us with questions, our responses were generally quoted directly from the handbook.
Love and respect the ward leaders- It was humbling, indeed, to interact with the YW presidencies in our stake. We got to see 8 different presidencies interact with 8 very different groups of girls. I was strengthened by their examples as we saw the amount of work and love they poured into their programs for these girls. My favorite part of this calling was going on ward visits. It was wonderful to spend one on one time with leaders and go into homes of their girls with them. We felt Heavenly Father's love for these wonderful women as we prayed for them. We always referred to our ward leaders as the 'sisters in the trenches' as they were the ones on the front lines engaged in the daily work of loving the YW of our stake and running the program.
I remember what it was like at the beginning when we were all diving into this assignment. I felt wholly inadequate. I prayed and prayed to know what my place and my contribution would be in this presidency. I felt some confirmation come that I had a lot to learn, and that is was for this reason I would get to work with this amazing group of women and leaders. I felt instructed to volunteer for everything I thought I could handle, and then to be very observant and learn everything I could. I am so grateful for everything I experienced with this calling. I take with me invaluable knowledge that can only be gained through experience as well as three sister soul mates whom I admire from their heads to their toes and who know and love me through and through.
Janet, Shelly, Heather, and an example of why I never take selfies! We went out to lunch for one final presidency meeting.
In other change-related news, our family is in one of the new wards of the stake. Consequently, Cori was released from his calling of being the Elder's quorum president. He was ready for this change but experienced a wave of sorrow at the stake meeting upon the announcement of his release (once the echoes of the high five he gave me died away :)). Truly though, he magnified his calling so well and gained great love not only for the men in our ward but for their families as well. He and I are now teaching the Valliant 10 class in senior primary. We love it! It is a treat working together. We love our class. And the change of pace has been most welcomed!
A most unwelcome change came at our relief society party this week when I received a new visiting teaching route. I hurriedly opened my paper to make sure that Polly and I still had our sweet cancer-fighting tough girl Tisa on our route. Not only were we no longer visiting Tisa, but I was assigned to a new companion. I was not able to contain my tears. Polly has been the kindest and truest of friends to me and we have worked together the full 3+ years we have lived in Phoenix. We have visited Tisa all that time as well and love her. Of course, we will still see one another - Polly and I have already made plans to visit Tisa anyway. It isn't ever quite the same though. Change leaves its sting, but it puts into high relief the blessings that have come along the way. I feel nothing but gratitude and we are excited for new work to do.
